@TheCatWhisprer: Let’s get married and have kids so instead of going out and spending hours talking and drinking we can spend hours waiting for a toddler to eat a chicken tender.
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@DirtMcTurd: Sometimes I just sit and run my fingers through my girl's hair. Its a nice way to let her know I love her and also that were out of napkins
@MarfSalvador: Him: Shall we have sex? Her: I want to wait til we're married Him: Ugh fine Priest: Shall I continue?
@ActualPerson084: FREE IPAD FOR ANSWERING A SIMPLE SURVEY. 1) WHERE DO YOU LIVE? 2) DO YOU OWN WEAPONS? 3) WHEN ARE YOU MOST VULNERABLE? #NIGHTOFTHEFREEIPAD
@StarWarsProblms: Emperor: How are my elite troops doing on Endor? Vader: They were all viciously murdered by teddy bears. Emperor: That sounds plausible.