@knotaprettygirl: Let's give a big round of applause to everyone on Facebook who went to the gym today even though they "hate it"!! They are the real heroes.
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@simoncholland: My daughter wants to be something scary for Halloween this year so she's going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.
@1InTheStinker: The cops came to my house claiming my dog chased someone down on a bike! I explained to the idiots that my dog doesn't own a bike.