@UnFitz: Why learn big words when you can fabricaciously inventify them?
@carrietini: According to maxipad commercials, all women are full of blue windshield washer fluid.
@Rayne__Man: Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me
Fool me three times, show me how you do that
@amydillon: "Sorry I was skeptical about your cough."
-my new line of Get Well cards
@TheRealHoff10: People keep asking me today "So you have a new boss?" No, I'm still with my wife.
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