@Tonejonzz: Lets give each other cute nicknames like, 'Plaintiff' and 'Defendant'
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@LOVELADONNIS: Woman on the plane just asked her crying son "are you gonna be a gangsta or a crybaby" I'm like damn are these the only options?
@PeterClayton6: (Adobe CEO's house) Like the new couch hun? Update it. What about the wallpap… UPDATE IT ALL. You're scaring the ki… UPDATE THEM TOO…
@WheelTod: Julian Assange became a role model for hackers worldwide by crashing at a friend's place indefinitely & never paying his share of any bills.
@Jason_maybe: Everyone has that psycho ex we pray we'll never run into again. If you don't you're probably it.