@birbigs: Let's name our sandwich shop after smelly trains.
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@dragonsorbet: [Picking up girls] Me: you like bad boys, huh? Girls: yea Me to my wing man: tell them Wing man: he's just literally the worst
@pleatedjeans: [blind date] So,where you from? [eyes turn black] T h E S E v E n T H C i R C L e O F H e L L Oh nice. ever miss it? [cries blood] Y e s
@TheAlexNevil: Based on the musicians who thanked him at the Grammys, I gotta say: I'm not crazy for God's taste in music.