@MongooseMayhem: Let's play hide and sex. I mean seek. Damn it. Seek. Unless you're okay with hide and sex. I'll meet you in the hall closet in one minute.
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@Book_Krazy: WAITER: Room for dessert? [flashback to the room at home that hides all my desserts] ME: [nervous laugh] Haha I don't have one of those.
@TheToxicWaster: My wife said she wants a divorce for valentines day. I wasn't planning to spend that much..
@Geaux2Girl: Your stick-figure family of 6 really isn't necessary. No one sees your minivan and mistakes you for wild and single.