@electrolemon: "let's put computers and keyboards in our cars. now let's go catch all the people typing on tiny keyboards in their cars" - cops
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@weinerdog4life: Maybe the raccoons threw away something very important. Did you ever think about that you big jerk.
@jwoodham: I can't make it tonight. There's a couple fighting at Target and the guy just started sarcastically clapping. I need to see where this goes.
@TrolleyCat: I want a "refrigerataur." Half horse, half refrigerator. I could ride it AND eat from it which is just plain sensible we are in a recession.
@bobvulfov: GOLFER: what r u thinkin ME (caddying): honestly sometimes i wake up & am mad that im not dead GOLFER: jesus. i meant what club should i use