@thatUPSdude: Let's remove all the Warning Labels and thin out the herd.
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@briangaar: "Hey buddy, what's up?!!" -- short honk "I WILL KILL YOU AND EVERYONE YOU LOVE" -- long honk
@sip_at_home_mom: Finally cleaned out the fridge to make meal planning easier. Tonight, we're having buttered olives with mustard and baking soda.
@Sickayduh: "Ma'am, you had twins. They are fine and your boyfriend Chad named them" - Oh no "This is Debra" - aww I like that "And this is Depanties"
@truegritrumble: ME: Close your eyes, I got you a birthday present. SPOUSE: *closes eyes* Oh? ME: Remember how you told me you love Daft Punk? SPOUSE: No. I said I’d love for you to stop listening to Daft Punk in the car. ME: *nervously* Oh *Daft Punk slowly rises from behind the couch*