@DBMaxP: Let's settle this like men... men with bad judgment & unlimited water balloons
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@PaulFrei: I imagine when you get to heaven they give you a box with all the sodas and snacks that vending machines cheated you out of your whole life.
@causticbob: I saw a sign that said "Watch for children" I thought to myself "That sounds like a fair trade"
@samalmightysam: Women can detect even the smallest of lies, but on TV they tell them they can lose 20 pounds in 5 days and they believe it all.
@LindaInDisguise: Me: Can I dip my breadstick in your Alfredo sauce? Him: Usually it's me asking you that. 13YO: SHUT UP. STOP IT RIGHT NOW!