@DBMaxP: Let's settle this like men... men with bad judgment & unlimited water balloons
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@PJTLynch: Ladies: To see how a guy is in bed, watch him put on a shoe. Does he just cram his foot in? Or does he lick the shoe fully then gently enter
@trevso_electric: Nice job Instagramming your plane ticket with enough personal information to take out a mortgage in your name.
@Mikecanrant: There is absolutely nothing wrong with yelling "I HAVE THE POWEEER!" like He-Man after cooking an omelette that doesnt stick to the pan.
@AndyAsAdjective: "Rapunzel! Let down your hair!" RAPUNZEL: Hey hair, ya wanna go get ice cream? HAIR: Yeah! RAPUNZEL: Well too bad. Because we're not.