@KimmyMonte: LETS SHARE EMBARRASSING STORIES. me first: i saw Brad Pitt at a bar back in the late 90’s. he was smoking so i walked up & asked for a light he handed me his lighter but i didn’t have a cigarette so i flicked on the lighter & said “oh cool it works” gave it back & walked away
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@UncleDuke1969: "I'm THIRSTY!" "Can I have a drink?" "DAAAAAAAAD!" "I WANT WAAAAAAAAAAAAATER!" See? My son can turn water into whine, too. Your move, God.
@senderblock23: "I heard low winter sun is pretty good." - low winter sun from behind a bush trying to throw it's voice
@House_Feminist: It’s fucked up that probably everyone believes their pets share their political views
@fro_vo: Hillary: if we aren't careful donald trump could be our next president. Let that sink in Clinton Aide: *opens door* Sink: sorry i'm late