@RexHuppke: "Let's take a couple dozen over-stimulated children and give them enough sugar to kill an elephant." - inventor of the birthday party
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@PeachesMcPeach: I'm at my sexiest when I'm at a stoplight and a teenage boy is checking me out then suddenly realizes his horrific mistake.
@duplicitron: Sometimes a family is walking towards you taking up the entire sidewalk and you have no choice but to just become part of that family.
@maurex23: [drug test] WEED: what did you get for #15? HEROIN: the teacher said not to share answers. COCAINE: done LSD: this paper tastes like crab