@bornmiserable: I'm not John Madden, just John Disappointeden.

@Smooheed: If the interviewer asks where you see yourself in 5 years Standing naked on top of a fire truck does not appear to be the correct answer

@ClichedOut: ME: i'm writing a book about lame cars HER: what's it called ME: sorry, no spoilers

@Home_Halfway: Colin Firth has a younger brother named Colin Thecond.

@Ivsy01: A guy in line just asked me to hold his coffee and I'm like I'm not looking for anything serious right now.