@duplicitron: Let's turn this Pizza Hut into a pizza home.
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@UncleDuke1969: Me: Why the fake mustache and hat? Wife: Your text. M: Huh? W: It said you wanted to try some “Burt stuff”. M: Um, Honey- W: Call me Bandit.
@scott2ten: Co-worker: Face up or face down? Me: Um. What? Cw: The fax machine? Documents face up or down? Me: I'm not mature enough to answer that.
@BuckyIsotope: HORSE: *walks into a bar* BARTENDER: Why the long face? HORSE: Updog BARTENDER: What’s updog? HORSE: Not much just walking into a bar
@KKAlThani: The girl at the table next to me is having a salad. Not as a starter, but as a main course like some kind of rabbit.