@GerryDuggan: Let's vote the pool water off that celebrity diving show.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@smedlee: The worst thing about when someone tells you to chillax is what to do with their corpse.
@Sickayduh: "Dad, how come we use plastic forks and my friends all have silverware?" - Because they're poor and have to reuse everything. "Pfft losers"
@JElvisWeinstein: "And if all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you make up a story about jumping off a bridge too?"-- Teen Brian Williams' mother
@TheToddWilliams: Cop: First name please... "Frida" Cop: Last name... "Gomam" Cop: You're Frida Gomam? *peels out* Cop: Nice, nice