@sammyrhodes: Letting Russia host the Winter Olympics feels a little bit like letting Voldemort host the Quidditch Cup.
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@Ygrene: *Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman all avoiding eye contact with Aquaman as he walks in to work & sees Michael Phelps sitting at his desk*
@Brampersandon_: JUDGE: so u plan to plead insanity? ME: let me double-check with my counsel *moves 2 ft over, puts on tie, nods* ME: thats correct ur honor
@skillsmcgill: Save money on laser removal of 'love hate' knuckle tattoos, by changing the last letter to an 's' and developing an interest in millinery.