@simoncholland: Letting the grocery bagger bring my groceries out sounds nice but I can't handle trying to remember where I parked in front of a stranger.
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@jaketapper: I'm trying to envision something more fitting than this election actually ending in a Biden-Trump fist fight and i cannot
@PaperWash: [calls work] I'm sorry I can't come into work today "is everything alright?" [getting owned in an argument on YouTube] no
@peachesanscream: Doctor: "You have a blockage in your small & large intestine" Barista: … Barista: … Doctor: *Sigh* "Ok, Tall & Venti intestine."