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Because water should be crunchy.
@nsterdan: Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they're talking?
@ItsDumbTweets: Omg... no
@SarcasticAlly12: "I see you have created a tiny human. I, too, have done this."
-me trying to make mom friends. Should I not whisper it? I'll try shouting
@Chumpstring: Keep a few cat turds in your pockets, just in case a cop searches you. He will get cat poop on his hands, and you can laugh. It's all legal.
@truegritrumble: *trying to awkwardly start a conversation with my barber* I ALSO like scissors.