@topaz_kell: Level of drunkenness: fed the ATM pizza.
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@david8hughes: [drops son off for 1st day at daycare] "Ok, Mr Hughes, see you at 3 o'clock." "Not a chance. He's your problem now."
@kiralc: explaining cat scratches is like defending an abusive boyfriend to your parents "he didn't mean it" "you guys just don't know him like I do"
@dafloydsta: Covering your ears and screaming "OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN" is not appreciated by your coworkers. Apparently.