@NikiWithIssues: Liam Neeson is like Super Mario who keeps saving a chick who keeps getting kidnapped but instead of mushrooms he's really into phone calls.
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@KeetPotato: [on drive home] i cant believe you said "don't bother" when my dad said he'd be there in spirit "i don't want ghosts at our wedding linda"
@KngHnryVIII: When children, who are hoping for your death so one of them can claim your throne, bring you brekkie in bed, don't eat it. #FathersDay