@NikiWithIssues: Liam Neeson is like Super Mario who keeps saving a chick who keeps getting kidnapped but instead of mushrooms he's really into phone calls.
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@VerifiedJayy: According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn't what I thought it was
@lazerdoov: Call your boring friend Simon, "Sighmon" he'll never know the difference and you can laugh about it with your cool bros over beers.
@meganamram: Years ago, scientists knew barely anything about space! It was probably because those scientists were babies
@gwatts77: Facebook people don't like Twitter because they need picture illustrations to understand the joke.