@Tw1tter_K1tten: Lice is the herpes of kindergarten.
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@thepunningman: Ikea said if they catch me stealing any more kitchen utensils I'll be banned for life. But I'm willing to take the whisk.
@Teowulf: I just had to add "velociraptor" to my Microsoft Word dictionary because apparently I missed the dinosaurs expansion pack or something.
@IamEnidColeslaw: cats are the best because you can pet one while you're talking to someone and look totally evil