@Tw1tter_K1tten: Lice is the herpes of kindergarten.
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@ashleycrem: I'm getting really irritated. This is the tenth ATM I've been to in the last week that's had "insufficient funds".
@BuckyIsotope: [wakes up from coma I went into in 1908] so how many more World Series titles have the Cubs won?
@PajamaBen_: You know what I really like about you, girl? You're really down to earth. *waits for response, nothing. Goes to next tombstone* You know wha
@DaddyJew: Your son has been suspended "for what?" He hit a kid who was picking on another child "so what, yall ran out of ice cream to give him?"