@jessforaminute: Lick the corner of your mouth. The corner. JUST the CORNER. God damn it Diane do you want to be America's Next Top Model or the Hamburglar
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DumbConfessions: [in Paris] Will you have sex with me? "No monsieur." Okay, like, I don't speak French. BLINK ONCE FOR NO AND TWICE FOR YES.
@evanrhorne: I quit my job today!! The money from that Nigerian king arrives tomorrow, I'm so excited.