@ewfeez: LIFE HACK: A pancake makes a great and edible mouse pad.
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@juliussharpe: I'll vote for whichever candidate promises to get rid of banner ads that move when you scroll down.
@karencreets: I should probably never be a mom considering I'd rather drop a baby in a puddle than my iPhone
@KyleMcDowell86: "Honey,can u make the dinner reservations for 3 instead of 2 tonight? Debby's coming" "We're not bring ur new chainsaw-" "HER NAME'S DEBBY"