@MariyaAlexander: Life hack: ask telemarketers and phone scammers to go steady seconds into the conversation and never be bothered again OR now you found love
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@LMHPhotog: Teach a fish to catch a MAN, and you've got a blockbuster horror movie idea under your belt.
@causticbob: I saw a sign that said "Watch for children" I thought to myself "That sounds like a fair trade"
@internetluke: [restaurant] *motions for waiter* Waiter! Bill please! *Bill comes out & dances embarrassingly to entertain me & the guests* Thanks Bill!