@MariyaAlexander: Life hack: ask telemarketers and phone scammers to go steady seconds into the conversation and never be bothered again OR now you found love
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@travisauruss: Blood is thicker than water. But maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. I said it.
@xLiserx: People who buy copious amounts of everything before a blizzard: Is there nothing in your house every other day of the year?
@notacroc: BOSS: it's national replace H's with F's day ME: really? BOSS: yep, you're hired! ME: hahaha-wait BOSS: get out ME: what the huck?