@jonnysun: LIFE HACK: eat a cookie evry time u hav a good idea. this asociates idea w/ cookie. now evry time u eat a cookie u will think of a good idea
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@TEXASVETERAN: Neighbor thinks I'm stalking her. Any time she hears a noise she is purified. Petrified! Sorry, not easy reading a diary thru binoculars.
@WheelTod: My wife has just come home and asked how things went with the baby. Now in mild panic mode as I thought she took the baby along with her
@envydatropic: I just want to be rich enough to donate enough money to have a wing at the mental hospital named after me
@xysist: Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam's ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.