@KarenKilgariff: LIFE HACK: If a public restroom is locked, violently yank the door handle over and over like a gorilla and never accept that it's occupied
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@SondraDeeMe: [train] GUY: Please take my seat. ME: *adjusts pillow in my top to feign pregnancy* Thank you. GUY: How far along are you? ME: 5 stops.
@funnybeachgirl: *walks up to fountain* *throws in a shiny penny* *crosses fingers* *makes wish* *looks over at mother-in-law* *does throat slash motion*