@DanMentos: LIFE HACK: If you want to remember something write it upside down on the back of your underwear waistband. You’ll see it when you’re pooping
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@GrillinChillin9: I'm no scientist, but I'm sure that gravity is at it's strongest while laying in bed early in the mornings.
@MelKassel: HIM: tell me your wildest fantasy ME: i'm on wheel of fortune and i spin it so hard it lights on fire HIM: i meant like- ME: everyone claps
@eeethanford: *Stubs cigarette out in palm to look tough* *waits till everyone leaves* *takes out cell phone* Hello 911? Please send all your ambulances