@joshgondelman: Life Hack: In any hipster coffee shop, say "You haven't seen The Wire?" and in the ensuing commotion, leave without paying.
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@rolldiggity: CASHIER: "Did you find everything you were looking for?" ME: "Oh, yes..." [places "How To Murder A Cashier" book on counter]
@mamapojo: I RT you, you ignore me I fav you, you ignore me I ignore you, you ignore me This seems to be working out well for us
@DelanieFischer: Being an adult means assuming someone's dead every time your parents call you at work.