@joshgondelman: Life Hack: In any hipster coffee shop, say "You haven't seen The Wire?" and in the ensuing commotion, leave without paying.
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@BigHeb7: I've been saying I'll sleep when I'm dead for so long, I'm starting to really look forward to dying.
@tiffaynay: Burger King employee: what size [drink] would you like? Me (thinking she said 'side'): fries. BK: What? Me: *more forcefully* fries.
@naderdagher: If he pauses a video game to text you, he's probably already losing, no need to feel special or anything,