@joshgondelman: Life Hack: In any hipster coffee shop, say "You haven't seen The Wire?" and in the ensuing commotion, leave without paying.
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@Maxine12333: Always keep your head up and stand proud! That way your double chin won't show in your pictures.
@GroperCleveland: MTV has ordered a reality show to follow a group of virgins. That sounds very interesting and riveting and get that camera out of my face.
@AlexRogaski: [2 Years into Cosmetology School] Me:[applying perfect contours] When are we gonna start learning about space?