@JeremySchuetze: Life hack: Never actually say the words 'Life hack' out loud.
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@carlyken: Jesus take the wheel. No that's a book. A penny. A rock. DAMMIT JESUS DIDN'T YOU TAKE THAT ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE CLASS I RECOMMENDED
@Parkerlawyer: Told my kids I loved them at carpool and no one responded so I yelled, "I love you too!" while hanging out of the sunroof. Me, 1 Kids, 0
@daemonic3: Me: Hi, what's a good school binder for my 10yo girl here? Clerk: Trapper Keeper? Me: Haha, no, she's my own daughter.