@JeremySchuetze: Life hack: Never actually say the words 'Life hack' out loud.
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@KizerBillhelm: I just got a Facebook invite to my brother's non-alcoholic Mormon wedding. I dunno which part of that sentence makes me want to cry more.
@DaddyJew: Don't get mad. Get odd. Like incredibly odd. Show up in a clown suit to their work. Draw potatoes on all their mirrors. Make them be afraid.
@jazmasta: Who called it confronting ur husband Stanley about flirty texts from a girl named Rebecca from a former soviet state and not Who'sbeckystan?