@kumailn: Life hack: Stare into your Uber driver's eyes through the rear view mirror the entire time.
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@PhoenixRises69: Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn't 'funny' and is technically 'wasting' police time :(
@geekysteven: Science fact: If you took a human intestinal tract and stretched it from the Earth to the Moon, you would definitely get fired from NASA.
@Reverend_Scott: Kylo Ren was more powerful with his helmet on. With it off, he had to use a majority of his power to maintain his hair's body and bounce.
@DaddyJew: Interviewer: how do you feel about traveling? Me: oh I dont know, I mean I just met you