@davedittell: LIFE HACK: when at a restaurant with a long wait, resort to cannibalism
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@pakalupapito: roses r red violets r blue sunflowers r yellow i bet u were expecting someting romantic but no this is just gardening facts
@BillPelicanBros: Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket Me: Ooh, could I win something Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike
@KevinFarzad: If you love someone let them go. If they come back they probly forgot their keys or something & yikes that's gonna be an awkward 30 seconds.