@davedittell: LIFE HACK: when at a restaurant with a long wait, resort to cannibalism
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@69hunna: How to sex: Boy: can I put my finger in your belly button Girl: sure Girl: that's not my belly button Boy: that's not my finger
@realHamOnWry: The local sperm bank now has a quick serve location with a drive-thru window. It's called Jack-It-In-The-Box.
@better_off_dad: I keep forgetting my passwords so I changed them all to one that's super easy for me to remember: InsufficientFundsContactYourBank00.00
@Maxine12339: Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long.