@davedittell: LIFE HACK: when at a restaurant with a long wait, resort to cannibalism
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@That_Damn_Duck: Some of you should not be allowed to procreate and if you have to google what procreate means, then I’m talking about you in particular.
@Lisa_Laughs_: Me: I can't work today. Boss: Why? M: My grandma died. B: Our grandmas died 20 yrs ago. M: ... -Why working for your brother is a bad idea.
@aneesa_p: Shout out to authentic Indian restaurants that encourage eating using only the hands. They don't give a fork.