@Sirrruh: Life has taught me if you go to the store for milk and you're high, you won't buy milk. You will spend half your rent on hot pockets though.
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@MrGeorgeWallace: Just hired a dirtying lady. About to watch her and my cleaning lady fight it out.
@david8hughes: [first day as detective] Me: looks like he was shot in the head Partner: any sign of forced entry? Me [pointing at bullet wound]: well yeah
@BatmanOffDuty: *buying a dog* Is this a good dog? "Oh yeah, very good dog." Do any tricks? "No, I'm clean, selling dogs now."
@1MeLrO: You think you got problems I just mixed a box of regular spaghetti with a box of thin spaghetti Supper is ruined I tell you