@LizHackett: Life is a constant balancing act between wondering why you weren't invited to something and wondering how to get out of it.
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@YourMomsucksTho: My husband always knows I got my period by how I wear white dresses and twirl in fields, then swing for hours and hours while laughing.
@friendly_moon: [hostage situation] Any last words? "Nah, I'm good." If you insist. *puts gun to head* Say you're prayers. "You are prayers. Lol."