@DirtMcTurd: "Life Is a Highway" has gotta be my favorite song about having sex with a road
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SteveSuckington: "U can legally stab someone if u suspect they're a Gary." -no you can't *pulling knife from sheath* "Sounds like somthin a Gary would say"
@HelloCullen: I would request a bunch of Ambien as my last meal so I would look hardcore as hell by falling asleep at my own execution
@ch000ch: [drops a pinch of fish food into fish tank] ME: here ya go little buddies FISH: oh wow pukey shit flakes again, thanks man
@heatherlou_: My house is clean so please don't eat or drink or come by or let my child come home.