@DirtMcTurd: "Life Is a Highway" has gotta be my favorite song about having sex with a road
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@DadandBuried: My son can now reach the light switches so don't come over my house unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure.
@MichaelTrying: How much mint do I have to muddle into this mojito for it to count as a serving of vegetables?
@virgiltexas: You cowards just love watching the NFL Draft while you're all too chickenshit to go off and serve in the football yourselves.
@SadieSmithRoks: You can learn a lot about a man based on how he responds to a bird pooping on him. Also background checks and digging thru his trash.