@TheTweetOfGod: Life is a suicide mission.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@PaulyPeligroso: I stash my weed in the middle of a bunch of Russian nesting dolls so when the cops are searching for it they give up like after 5 dolls.
@TattedChanel: So Brad Pitt is being investigated for child abuse after yelling at his kids on a flight. Better send my mum to the electric chair then.
@markhoppus: I need a keyboard shortcut for "sorry it's taken me so long to reply to your email..."