@NYC_Blonde: Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one of your friends your ex is going to sleep with next
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@iAmDelFreaky: Waking up with morning wood is one thing, but waking with Elijah Wood is just creepy. I calmed down once I stared into his beautiful eyes.
@rachelle_mandik: HIM: Hi, I'm Bill. ME: Hi, I'm...oh shit this is embarrassing. I'm not really good with names.
@clarkekant: I wish everyone would stop vaccinating their children. It’s really cutting down these lines at Disneyland!