@NYC_Blonde: Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one of your friends your ex is going to sleep with next
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@space0tter: Date *pulls out clipboard* "Name?" "Uh.. Beth." "Ok.. Check. Kids?" "No" "Check. Club Penguin username?" "What's that?" *drops clipboard*
@jakob_huber: You'd think Bowser would start locking the front door of his castle after the first time Mario just walked right in like he owned the joint.
@TequilaTears: How much is appropriate to tip the police officer who opens the squad car door for you?