@SamGrittner: Life is like a roller coaster: There are ups & downs, you often feel like vomiting, but in the end there are weird pictures of you for sale.
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@envydatropic: Animals who have bright colors and patterns in the wild are considered dangerous and shouldn't be messed with. *Updates work wardrobe to bright, loud colors and patterns*
@EJGomez: son ur mom told me u & ur gf broke up today? *puts hand on sons shoulder* if u had bought a pet falcon like i told u she woulda never left u
@shutupmikeginn: Banned from Yelp for including "the rat seems to be vulnerable to attacks from behind or when adjusting mask" in my Chuck E Cheese review