@meaganbb1: Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind
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@good2go013: How to tie the strongest knot ever: 1. Put some headphones in your pocket. 2. Wait one minute. Ta Da !
@TheCatWhisprer: Accidentally connected my Fitbit account to Facebook and now everyone knows I only walked 13 steps yesterday.
@Jessdaisy: Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
@DanOverHere: My boss asked me for a brief word. I said "underpants?" and we laughed and laughed and I'm clearing out my desk.