@TheDairylandDon: Life isn't about the moments that take our breath away. That's asthma. You're thinking of asthma.
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@MrGeorgeWallace: Why do football players only dance when good shit happens? Just once I wanna see a QB throw an interception & do a sad, interpretive dance.
@iamspacegirl: FISHING TRIP Joseph *casting his line*: Son, your mother thinks it's time I tell you- You're agodpted. Jesus *runs across the lake crying*
@liv_thatsme: FIRST DATE Me *dressed from head to toe like Darth Vader* Him: Haha, are you dressed like that to celebrate the opening weekend of the new Star Wars movie? Me (in Darth Vader voice): NO.
@Mr_Kapowski: I'm that guy who plays Pictionary and draws the shittiest representation of the clue and spends the entire time circling it at various speed