@Vice_Queen: LIFE LESSON: Never do anything which you don't want to explain to the Paramedics.
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@foodfacenow: Me: I can't seem to lose weight CW: Have you tried cutting back on your sugar intake Me:*stirring coffee with snickers bar* What do you mean
@CoatCzech: Me: Table for four, please. And can we get some crayons? Her: Will there be children dining today? Me: No. The crayons are for me.
@Overdue_Bills: My daughter wrote "Daddy is the best" in the snow then smashed it when I made her come inside. She'll make some lucky guy miserable one day.
@KrazykurtKurt: Nicholas Cage is the same character in every movie he makes, except Face off where he was John Travolta.