@CruisinSoozan: Life starts with everyone cheering when you poop and goes drastically down hill from there.
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@XplodingUnicorn: How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.
@GashleyMadison: Coworker: What would be your ideal- Me: Sleeping CW: But you didn't let me finish my- M: My answer is always sleeping.
@Twisted_Mettle: RUN FOREST!!! RUN!!! But the trees just stood there. Frozen with fear. In the end, the flames consumed them all.
@TweetingDadGuy: Winter is great because it gets dark earlier and you can get a head start on your shady activities.