@AmishPornStar1: Life Tip: If you're ever attacked by a shark, compliment his smile. Sharks are very vain and susceptible to flattery.
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@maughammom: My 'Mom Voice' was so loud even the neighbors washed their hands and cleaned their rooms.
@Shock_Monster: The bravest thing you can do is change & the weakest is to settle for comfort. But, seriously, that remote is really far from the couch.
@McInappropriate: she wears short skirts I eat pizza she's cheer captain and I'm still eating pizza
@Fickle_Filly: Colleagues who feel the need to say "You either love me or hate me!" are oblivious to the fact that it's always the latter.