@FilthyRichmond: Lifeguards should focus more on water safety and less on me laying eggs in the sand.
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@thenatewolf: ME: the internet used to come in through the phone. It made a terrible noise, like robots screaming. GRANDSON: hush grandpa take your pills
@CourtneyBale: Guy Who Invented Figurative Speech: I've got something that'll blow your minds. Townspeople: *fleeing in abject terror*