@FilthyRichmond: Lifeguards should focus more on water safety and less on me laying eggs in the sand.
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@KristinHalbrook: Advice for all girls: You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. But you catch the most flies with corpses.
@JimmerThatisAll: If I offended anyone in the last 24 hours sorry but I forgot my medication and I ran out or premium beer and my son's dating a scientologist
@casual_koala: Don't get upset if you hit a lot of red lights on your way to work. You'd turn red too if you had to change in the middle of the street.