@shutupmikeginn: Lifehack: If whenever someone asks your opinion on something you say, "Now thats-a spicy meatball!" people will learn not to ask you things.
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@TraylorParker: Me: YOU CAN DO IT SON! Son: Why are you being so encouraging? Are you drunk? Me: Yep. So pass your driving test or we're walking home.
@NicestHippo: [museum tour in the future] Racism and sexism ended in the 21st century, when brave Americans argued it out of existence online