@shutupmikeginn: Lifehack: If whenever someone asks your opinion on something you say, "Now thats-a spicy meatball!" people will learn not to ask you things.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@XplodingUnicorn: Me: That guy is a bad apple. 6-year-old: He's a person. Me: I just meant he's mean. 6: Probably because you called him an apple.
@Pirate_nurse: To be clear...putting your entire fist in your mouth should be a party trick saved for after Uncle Barry leaves
@CelebrityChez: (Interview) Says here on your resume that you're unpredictable. (I take a squirrel out of my pants dressed as Batman) "That's a rumor".