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@GrumpyComments: Found my cat reading To Kill A Mockingbird. I told him that it didn't actually involve killing birds, but he said he liked courtroom dramas.
@DzNutz83: Your honor, if you watch the tape in reverse you can clearly see the officer planting the evidence in my vehicle.
@itsa_talia: one time a friend asked me "how are you still single?!" and the list of reasons is still compiling in my head