@offshore122: Like boxes of shit in your house? Get a cat.
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@thejodiest: Please don't directly insult people on Twitter. Use passive aggressive, indirect insults only, like a damn adult.
@Fred_Delicious: [arrives at the gates of hell] Satan - "WELCOME MORTAL. DOWN HERE... WE DON'T HAVE LASAGNA" Me - "um...ok?" [Satan checks list] "Is your name Garfield?" "No" "Huh. List says Garfield"
@Mr_Kapowski: *sees Deer Crossing sign* *further down the road sees deer nailed to crucifix* "Oh wow, they weren't lying"