@Dr_powpow: Like every good global citizen I've reduced my power consumption by 50% by running all my power off the neighbours while they're on vacation
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@TheRolo: Juliet: you know it's true love, when you finish each other's- Romeo: LIFE Juliet: [sighs all annoyed] like why do you say shit like that?
@Cravin4: Son:Dad's trick or treating as a ghost in a bed sheet? Wife:& heels,eye patch & his hand stuck in a Nutella jar. More like a ghost on ambien
@liv_thatsme: *writes kid's name in sharpie on arm every morning instead of getting tattoo just in case they end up being a disappointment*