@CulturedRuffian: Like grandpa always said, 'If you kids don't stop retweeting yourself, you'll go blind.'
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@1CleverGirl1: If you care about someone, even a little bit. I beg of you. Please. TELL THEM WHEN THEY HAVE SOMETHING IN THEIR TEETH.
@Renie_Rivas: I've never wanted a mansion. Not because I'm modest- I just don't need more places to lose my keys.
@iwearaonesie: wife: I TOLD you not to try a 360 with the grocery cart me: It was really nice when everyone started clapping after they saw I was ok though
@Home_Halfway: Every time the media has to report on Trump they should misspell his name and call him Mr. Turnip until he loses his mind completely