@Darlainky: Like most major sports injuries, almost all Rock, Paper, Scissors injuries occur because of insufficient stretching before the match.
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: *gets in pool* Come on in. 4-year-old: No, there might be sharks. Me: 4: Me: 4: Me: *gets out of pool*
@tastefactory: "What's taking the pharmacist so long? It's just one prescription" *behind the counter the pharmacist is sinking in quicksand and screaming*
@lazerdoov: If you're wondering if humans are idiots we hunt ducks with guns when they will walk right up to you if you have bread
@MamaFizzles: My kids made a mess this morning pretending to be leprechauns. They don't know it yet, but after school they get to pretend to be janitors.