@karenphotog: Like my grandma always says... put more booze in the mashed potatoes
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@byrdie_num_num: My wife and I used to describe our marriage as 'forever', now we both prefer the term 'ad nauseam'.
@mrtruthandsoul: I've decided to take some time off Twitter so I can focus on work and, ok, I'm back
@BigHeb7: Whenever I'm about to get in a bar fight, I give a karate bow to my opponent in hopes he gets scared and backs out before I piss myself.