@karenphotog: Like my grandma always says... put more booze in the mashed potatoes
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@ojedge: [puts puppy in microwave] [googles instructions for making hotdogs] [quickly releases puppy from microwave]
@runawaycupcake: Apparently just sitting here on my new lawn furniture drinking my Vodka & minding my business is disturbing to other Target guests.
@CourtRundell: Dear dinosaur naming people, Parasaurolophus and Elasmosaurus could've been named Frank and Joe. Sincerely, The parents of small children