@Just_Oh_Susanna: Like my parents always said, "you're in the wrong house, you live next door".
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@1Happytwit: I've been looking for the lid for this Tupperware container and somehow I'm now three weeks late for work.
@VanCityBlonde: Let's talk about the elephant in the room. I apologize for bringing it in here last night. There was alcohol involved. Can we keep him?
@Jesusontwittorr: To all those telling me this account is a sin - Don't worry about it, I plan on forgiving myself later