@shutupmikeginn: Like my therapist always says, "I'm not your therapist, you're just laying on a couch in Ikea"
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@TampaBayMomma: Men think us women dream of finding the perfect man when really, all we want is to eat anything without getting fat.
@tillygirl3: All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies All the Pringle ladies Get their hands stuck
@WilliamAder: I got free pancakes on International Pancake Day. International Women's Day is now almost over and I think I like pancake day better.
@AmishPornStar1: If you accidentally use Pam cooking spray instead of Off... It still works, because the mosquitoes just slide off your legs.