@bridger_w: Lincoln should win for most likely DVD to be put on by substitute teachers
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@TheWadest: *requests Uber* *climbs in backseat* Uber driver: "Where to?" Me: "oh, nowhere. I just don't like to change my diaper in the street."
@Tups13: I hate when I think of a great tweet and discover someone did it already. It's like that time I invented the wheelbarrow.
@dril: restuarants need to start hanging up pictures of their bathrooms outside so i know what im getting before i walk in the damn place